Anal Sex- A First Timer’s Guide

There is a lot to be said about anal sex. For some people it is kinky, for some it is icky. For some it might be unthinkable, for others it might be as regular as milk in coffee. But here’s the thing about anal sex - anybody can do it! Anybody can receive anal sex, women and men alike. Gay couples do it, straight couples do it, and it can also be an opportunity for heterosexual couples to reverse roles by using a strap-on.

However, the entire prospect can be very intimidating. A lot of people fear messy accidents, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s what you need to know if you are curious about trying out anal sex for the first time.

You need to use lube. LOTS OF IT.

Ground rule - use enough lube to drown a small animal. Be generous with it. Preferably, buy a lube that is specially for anal use. If that isn’t available, any thick, slippery lube will do. There is no lubrication in the anal area, and good lube reduces friction - avoid thin,watery lubes.

You need to be RELAXED and aroused.

The more tense you are, the harder penetration will be. Release your pelvic floor muscles, release the tension and go with the flow.

You need to be prepared.

It will help significantly if you take a few steps beforehand. Consider using a toy or penetrating with something smaller before you go as far as a penis or a strap-on dildo. A small anal plug can be used beforehand to prepare for penetration. Wearing the plug for a while before penetration stretches out the anal muscles and reduces pain and discomfort. If you don’t want to use an anal plug, have your partner finger you for a while with plenty of lube before having sex.

Do what you need to do in order to feel ready - spread a towel on the bed. Keep your lube handy. And maybe some tissues as well.

Some positions are better than others.

Laying flat on your stomach or laying on your side during penetration makes the entry much easier. The tip of the penis/dildo is the most painful part, the shaft slides in easily afterward. Doggy style is a good position too, but missionary might be quite painful for anal. Start slow and if one position hurts too much, stop and switch to another.

Use a condom.

Using a condom will keep things clean and safe! Make sure to change the condom while switching from anal to vaginal penetration, of course.

It CAN get messy, but…

You’re probably more paranoid about that than you should be. You want to go to the bathroom beforehand to prevent whoopsies. Also, avoid anal sex if you recently had any digestive issues or an upset stomach. Realistically, some traces of feces might still be present, but that is something you and your partner must be prepared to face if you’re going to explore anally. Talk about it, laugh about it, don’t let it feel awkward, because it is totally normal.

It can be really, really good!

Anal sex can feel amazing, intensify orgasms and give a satisfying feeling of fullness during sex. As you progress down this road, you can try combining with a dildo in the vagina for double penetration, or adding manual stimulation to the penis while massaging the prostate. The possibilities are endless, and you just opened up a whole new gate way (pun intended).

                                             Written By: Indraja Saroha

Indraja is a sex positivity activist and aspiring filmmaker. She promotes comprehensive sex education and open dialogue about sexuality issues on her YouTube channel, Liberating Sexuality.

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