Making an Impact Let’s talk about Impact play, impact play is popular in the BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism) world, and let’s be honest even in the “vanilla” word even though on the surface it looked at with distain. Impact play is considered a Fetish (a form of sexual desire linked to an object, body part or action).
Impact play is a practice in which one person (male or female) is struck, often times repeatedly by the other person (male or female), this is done for the gratification of one or both participants. this sort of play is often used in dom/sub relationships as a punishment or reward depending on the person, situation or day but it is not reserved for dom/sub relationships only.
For those who do not enjoy pushing pain – pleasure boundries, such activities may seem barbaric or scary. Pleasure can be considered from many different perspectives, from physiological (such as the hedonic hotspots that are activated during the experience) to psychological (such as the study of behavioral responses towards reward). Pleasure has also often been compared to, or even defined by many neuroscientists as, a form of alleviation of pain (Wikipedia source). During consensual impact play, pain and pleasure boundaries are pushed, as a person becomes more aroused he/she is better able to handle pain.
Whether you are seasoned in the art of impact play, or you are a beginner, there are important things to remember before during and after a session. First and foremost communication, boundaries and safety must be taken seriously. To start lets talk about the warm up. Foreplay is important with any session in or outside of BDSM and in my opinion foreplay starts as soon as the last orgasm finishes and this is true for both sides. Your partner should feel wanted, desired, cherished even if it is just play partner. As for the actual warm up in an impact play session it is essential to warm up the blows. you cannot go full on paddling her ass and expect her to be able to handle more than a couple, and be warned this will discourage the bottom to feel apprehensive about future impact play. Damage can also be done to the body by not working into it.
You should see the skin start to slowly turn red in the areas of impact (more on the do’s and don’ts of where), blood will flow to the area of impact, this helps increase your bottoms tolerance and pleasure. It is also good to start with softer implements should you choose to use them during a session. Starting with your hands and moving to things like floggers are an easy intro but the intensity can be gradually increased, then adding paddles and whips once tolerance has been built. also Alternating with a harder blow in-between softer blows is quite effective. Remember to always check in with your bottom to ensure she/he is not going beyond what they can handle, even with safe words in place, the mental and physical well being of you or the bottom is of utmost importance and is not something to be taken lightly.
The sensations produced by impact play depend on the area in which the impact is concentrated as well as the material of the tool. Typically, wide implements such as an open hand, paddle or flogger produce a dull thud sensation. Narrow implements such as a cane, riding crop, belt or single tail produce a sharp sting sensation. Some will have a preference for “sting” or “thud”.
For safety, impact play should be done on areas of the human body well protected by fat or muscle; areas to strictly avoid include the kidneys, neck, tailbone, hipbones, collar bones, the head and all joints or areas where there is bone especially close to the skin.
The usual target areas are the buttocks and the two areas of the upper back below the shoulder blades. With care, the thighs, the backs of the calves and the chest can be targets as well. Breasts are another potential, but high-risk, target and should only be used with experience.
Improper technique can result in:
Trauma, Lacerations, Nerve Damage and Paralysation, Ruptured Vital Organs and Pathways Fractured or broken bones (these may sound extreme but this is why it is important to stick with safe areas and go slow).
Even proper technique may result in:
Abrasions Bruising and deep tissue swelling Temporary Exhaustion Dehydration Temporary loss of equilibrium or consciousness
Discuss aftercare prior to a session so you know that your partners well being is being taken care of. Each person needs different things so asking the questions is important. Some will need certain care during a session, like caressing in-between blows, words of encouragement, checking in, and some will need that after. Others will want warm towels or a hot bath/shower. What ever your after care is, it matters.
additionally to all the safety and prep a fun thing to add and one my favourites for any sort of play scene or just life in general, Music. Music can be used to greatly enhance a session, creating a more intense scene. Try timing your blows to the beat of the music for more intentional and intense.
From a young age, Chantal was shown sexuality to be fluid and individual, to always take my own pleasure seriously. This didn’t make things easy for her as she was before her time. Being constantly shamed for being too sexual by others, not respected or taken seriously by men because of it became a constant struggle. This cause her to struggle with coming to terms with her sexuality and who she was as a woman, causing her to question her womanhood. With change of mind set and knowing what she wants, her motto in life is,”You don’t tame women like her, you run wild with them.” Her mission as a sexuality coach has become one to help other women discover their true selves, through self-love and their sexuality.