The word ‘connection’ is defined as a link between two things or people; it is a bridge that is built in a relationship. It can be of any kind – spiritual, physical, social or emotional. People who fall in love with these connections are demisexual.
We are living in an era where “love” is just a swipe away. One’s partners can change more frequently than their hairstyle. Ideas of romance are influenced by movies like “Titanic” or “The Notebook”, and songs like “Tonight I’m fucking you” go viral. It’s easy to find yourself constantly asking, “Is this the ‘one’ for me?” And when, a few days later, it is revealed that they are not the ‘one’, it’s often not very difficult for us to move on to the next ‘one’. But for some people, it is difficult to keep pace with time.
If you have ever wondered why you don’t feel sexually attracted to people even when you like them, my dear friend, today, you’ve found your answer – Demisexuality.
Don’t worry, this is not a disorder, it’s just a term used to describe sexual attraction that only becomes apparent with a deep emotional connect. Asexuality.org explains that there is a “primary” sexual attraction — the attraction to what you see first, like a person’s looks, aesthetic, and/or the way they carry themselves; and a ‘secondary’ sexual attraction – that is rooted in the personalities of the individuals and the dynamic of their relationship with each other.
The sexuality of demisexuals tends to operate only on their secondary sexual attraction.
“What’s a fuck when what I want is love?”Henry Miller
Before you develop misconceptions, let’s clear them:
- Being demisexual does not mean that you will only feel sexually attracted to your best friends.
- Similarly, it does not mean that a demisexual wouldn’t find a stranger sexually attractive. They might. The only difference is in their functioning.
For them, sex is more than a need; it is a way of expressing themselves and their emotions towards someone. It is the path to a deeper connection with their partner.
People say makeup sex is the best; do you wonder why? The answer to which can be:
When you are madly in love with someone (and if they reciprocate your feelings), you form a deep bond with them. This depth is intensified by the heat of the anger that you have both just experienced. In this state, you can hardly imagine the magnitude of excitement and fervour in the sex you have. But could you imagine this kind of intensity in a fling? No, right?
Sex for fun or sex for intimacy – it’s your choice. You don’t have to change your preferences for somebody; be it due to peer pressure or partner-pressure. If you are not reading, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT. Mutual consent is the key to a satisfactory sexual life.
Wondering if you’re demisexual? See if you show the signs here!
SO ARE YOU DEMISEXUAL? Comment below 😉