Lip Service: Cunnilingus for the Clueless

Are you really doing everything you can to keep her satisfied? Not unless your mouth is serving her right!

Finger in Meat

There isn’t a lot of middle ground when it comes to cunnilingus: you either like licking/eating pussy, or you don’t. But for many people who are equipped with the vagina, while fucking is certainly fun, orgasms come only from clitoral stimulation.  Therefore, that little devil of a man-in-the-boat needs to be approached creatively.

“Cunnilingus is not a three-minute twerking fad, here today junked tomorrow. It is Tchaikovsky. An overture. An operatic experience that makes you high, then takes you higher. Orgasm is the waft of smoke seen at the top of the volcano. As we know, the journey is pure pleasure, the arrival like the Big Bang that created the universe.”

Chloe ThurlowKatie in Love

So let’s assume you want to; how, then, do you ‘do it’ correctly? How can you understand what every lady might want down there when we know every vagina is as unique as a snowflake.

Sex is like making beautiful music together – with emotions, mental stimulation, and a whole lot of libido forming the melody, harmony, and rhythm respectively. Play it well.

Firstly, anyone who wants to give cunnilingus a shot should scope out the territory.  While it’s absolutely true that every vagina is different, there is still a basic structure: labia majora (big lips, on the outside), labia minora (small lips, on the inside), urethra (pee hole near the top), vaginal orifice (dead in the center), anus (at the bottom) and clitoris (around the top and sides of the vagina).  Although many have regretfully ignored the clit for a long time, it’s very important to realize that there is more ‘down there’ than just a clit and a hole.  

“Real sex is as much about reciprocity as it is exploration and if you need a reason to resent a man later on, just consider the guy who doesn’t believe in cunnilingus…”

Roberto HogueReal Secrets of Sex: A Women’s Guide on How to Be Good in Bed

The entire genital area can be very sensitive; consider it a delightful erotic playground.  Before parting the labia and burying your face between her thighs, take some time to map your journey.  Use your fingers (gently, please) to see exactly what’s where; make this less of a clinical examination and more of a loving appreciation.  

So, look before you taste.  But still, don’t just go leaping right after that oh-so-alluring clit, or insert, lap at, and suck with your tongue and lips. The clit is certainly a big ON button for a lot of the labia-equipped, but it’s not the only way to get their motor started. 

Find out by doing:

  • Does your lady like to be kissed down there?
  • Does she like it when you go hard and wild, or soft and gentle?
  • Does she like to have her lips gently suckled; might she enjoy a fingertip eased in as you lick?
  • Maybe she wants the attention of more than one finger (and more than just the tip)?
  • And perhaps she’d like you to reach beyond her vagina (*wink wink*)?  

Is she enjoying it? Here are the signs

  • Moans and grunts can clue a pussy-eater quite accurately. 
  • One needs to listen well to the sounds the lady makes, the quality of them, and even the moves she makes while vocalizing. 
  • If she writhes, for instance, it usually means she’s happy (=aroused).
  • If she is suddenly raising her hips erratically and seems to be experiencing shock waves as you lap, you should probably keep doing what you’re doing. 
  • The same is true for the other sounds – coos, sighs, hisses and other various “happy” noises you have heard before, and are hopefully hearing again when you go down. 
  • But be ready for some new sounds if indeed, this is the first time your mouth is visiting her southern states.

How you can make her orgasm with cunnilingus

Depending on your partner, leaping right in, may or may not be the best way to go. Like a kiss, cunnilingus should be something you do to stoke your fires together. Start slowly, playfully, and maybe even laugh a little. Even if things are especially hot and heavy between you two, approaching the clit can sometimes be a little too intense.

“Cunnilingus is a girl’s best friend. Cunnilingus is life. Everything else is just waiting. An orgasm during cunnilingus turns you into an angel. You grow wings and glimpse paradise.”

Chloe ThurlowKatie in Love

Start by gently parting the labia, so you know what’s where. This is where an appreciative eye comes in: look at the colours, the size of the clit, the shape of the lips. Run your fingers and tongue along the majora and minora. Gently insert a finger into the vaginal opening and circle the inner muscle. Feel how smooth and hot it is? Some women will start to lubricate very early, while others need a bit more time and/or stimulation. You can also sometimes see the muscles of the vagina convulse as you touch and lick.  

“Most sexually adventurous women want a man who regards cunnilingus as a basic woman right.” 

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Remember: Always be safe!

Now, you need to be safe as well. While the verdict is still out on HIV being transmitted through oral sex, there’s still the big bad hepatitis C lurking.  Very easy to catch, hepatitis C can cause anything, from a lifetime of living with a debilitating illness to ending up on a new liver transplant list.

Luckily, the usual precautions for hepatitis also work against most other sexually transmitted conditions like HIV and gonorrhoea.  One of the best is the barrier method, placing a plastic wrap between the mouth and the vagina. It might look silly, wrapping your partner in non-porous material, but it’ll keep any potential microscopic troublemakers away when you’re sharing the most intimate of kisses.

The best form of prevention, though, is information.  Use your brain, evaluate your relationship with the person; see how honest they’ve been in the past. Ask them about their sexual lives and make sure you don’t seem judgmental, so they’ll actually tell you if there’s something to worry about.  In short, be picky about who you go down on. Besides that, just have a good time!

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