Sex in a Marriage – (II)

What happens when you lose your virginity to your husband? You might think it would never work out, but read on for some more insight. (Part 2)

I want to also mention that we as a couple were made for each other, and I really had a knight in shining armor as my partner. Because it’s rare for problems in a relationship to be one-sided. It’s only when you join hands that you can clap. So, if he was to blame, I had an equal part to play in the way things unfolded. 

Anyway, life went on and soon it was the day when I discovered that I was pregnant, and it did change our lives. Those little caring moments and a touch of concern from my husband’s side felt really good. The best ones were making my husband feel the baby moving inside. I would thoroughly enjoy the brush of his ear on my belly and I believed the baby would feel really safe inside sandwiched between mom and dad. He is a big music buff with earphones stuck in his ears at all times. He would place it on my belly to make his baby enjoy the music of his choice. Can you beat these moments with anything? I don’t think so.

On the sex front, nausea, growing belly and fatigue hardly left me with any desire whatsoever. Though my Google research and other trustworthy sources told me that sex during pregnancy was perfectly safe and in fact more enjoyable, but for me, cuddling up in his arms and going to sleep felt like the best thing under the sun. My husband, the sweet person that he is, left the decision to me. I didn’t want to miss out on any experience worth trying! So on slightly better days, on my insistence, we did try and make out. I must say, the experts were not wrong. Considering my state, we had to make certain amends to our preferred sexual positions, if you get what I mean. But for me the emotional connect won hands down as compared to the physical one. 

As the delivery date approached nearer, my jitters too, grew. I still can’t believe I skipped all the pain and fear and safely delivered via c-sec. I was waiting to deliver in the hope that a lot of my problems would end once the baby popped out of my body. Little did I know that the real story was yet to unfold! I realized just how much a little human can throw your life out of gear. Sleepless nights, feeding sessions, the incessant cries without any distinction between day and night were too much for me to handle. My husband was equally clueless and was of little help. 

For the first two or three months’,my day would read something like: feed, clean, burp, clean, pee, clean, poop, clean… I don’t even have words for how hectic it was when the baby was unwell! Sex was the last thing on our minds. The engorged and painful breasts and my fear of the pain around my stitches kept us from trying to get action. We took our own time to resume our sex life. 

But my point here is that, although the baby’s arrival throws your sex life out of gear, it actually brings the partners closer as a couple emotionally. I can’t speak for my husband, but for me, seeing him care, love and play with his baby made me fall for him all over again. Sex, for me, has moved on from being a lustful physical activity to a more matured emotional bonding between our souls. And when I turn back to the beginning of my sex life, I can confidently say that I am in love with every phase of it. In fact, every moment has helped make it the way it is today. I wouldn’t want it any other way. 

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