Ten Ways to Touch

Ten ways to touch

Have you ever gotten into a sexual rut with your partner?  Did you scratch your head and wonder what else you could do to bring the fire back?  I have. Of course, the internet was the first place I turned to for ideas. While browsing I found a lot of advice.  Most of it was pretty similar. Rub her nipples this way. Touch her here. Some of it was good advice. Some of it didn’t appeal to me and some I envisioned would be a huge turn off for her. 

“Where else can I look?” I thought.

Forums! So I spent some time on reddit, trying to distill something useful from all the banter but it felt like a lot of aggravation for what I was getting out of it.  So, I went back to my search and read about a couple of blogs where people could submit different things about their sexuality. The first was 25 Things About My Sexuality.  It was a fascinating blog, but I was disappointed to find that nothing new had been posted since 2013.  The second blog, How to make me come, had been featured in Cosmo but it was a Tumblr blog and it isn’t as accessible anymore.  It was a brilliant idea for a blog I thought, and the site editor, Emma Koenig, has written several books on the subject. 

In the end, I was disappointed.  No one had risen up to take the place of these blogs.  Then, it dawned on me. I could fill this niche! So, I set about learning how to build a blog.  I ran across some great articles by Girly Juice and quite a few more at Smutlancer, a very helpful blog run by Kayla Lords and Molly Moore.  A couple of months later Ten Ways to Touch was born!  I started by posting my own “Ten Ways” lists and I’ve gotten quite a few submissions so far.  I’d really like to build it to a point where I receive and post multiple submissions daily.  (Post your submission here: https://www.tenwaystotouch.com/ten-ways/)

Also, I started writing Erotica, primarily as a way to draw readers to the site. However, I’ve quickly found that I really enjoy the writing so I’m planning to expand that further. 

Ultimately, my goal for the site is to make it a place where people can go to find new ideas to try, fantasize about different sexual scenarios, and add their own two cents.  I want my readers to feel more comfortable in their sex lives and I want my site to be a place where people can write about their kinks, shame free. Most importantly, I want it to be a place where people can see that other people enjoy similar things and that it’s absolutely fine to be your kinky weird self.

It has been a very interesting journey so far. First, learning how to build and operate a web site.  Then, learning how to promote it and generate more traffic. There have been a lot of surprises on the way.  I didn’t expect to enjoy writing erotica as much as I do. I also didn’t expect the writing community to be so positive and engaging.  I have thoroughly enjoyed the interactions I have had thus far.  

Finally, I didn’t expect that beginning this site would have such a profound effect on my own sexuality.  Since I started I have found a plethora of different things that I’d like to explore. I have been quite shocked to discover my affinity for D/s.  I identify as a switch but I tend to lean toward the D side of the slash. I’m actively trying to incorporate elements of this with my own partner.  Perhaps even more surprising has been her reaction to it. She’s been excited to incorporate this into our play and I’m looking forward to finding out where our boundaries lie.  I feel like I’ve only just scratched the surface of what is possible. Having lived a fairly vanilla sex life for quite a while it makes me wonder just how much of me is hidden inside my own head.  I’m discovering doors where I had previously seen only walls. I’d like to give that to other people as well. Perhaps there are more people wandering around oblivious to their own sexuality. I hope my site can help wake them up to the possibility that they might really enjoy some things they haven’t tried before.

It will be interesting to see how it evolves from here. I hope you check out the site and, if you’re up for it, send in your ten ways.  Perhaps you’ll learn something new about your own sexuality or, at the very least, have a little fun fantasizing.


Photo by Lana Abie on Unsplash

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