Definitions for this article:
“Gender” is how a person identifies in the classic male-female paradigm, as in male or female or neither (as in, a coin toss normally ends with “heads” or “tails” but it can also end with “neither” – on the edge)
“Sex” is the shape of a person’s plumbing, with “outie” plumbing (testicles, penis, etc.) or “innie” plumbing (ovaries, vagina, clit, etc.)… and that’s also not always clearly delineated – intersex people abound. Additionally, there’s at least one historically-documented, celebrated example of someone who had both a functional vagina and penis, and thoroughly enjoyed them both.
A “Trans Girl” is someone who was born with a mix of gendered body parts: a female brain structure but “outie” plumbing. The brain is the most important body part: the basis of a person’s thoughts, emotions, character, judgment etc. As such, someone with a female brain structure is essentially female, and so a trans girl is female.
In the context of anal penetration, with the help of one or more fingers, sex toys (perhaps mounted on a harness), or someone’s penis:
- The “Top” is the person penetrating;
- The “Bottom” is the person being penetrated.
Who’s Attracted to Me?
I’m sometimes asked to speak publicly, and nowadays I’m okay with it. But when I was 14 my mother insisted I take oratory classes, and the prospect of speaking in front of an audience made me so nervous that I would lapse into hysterical laughter for minutes on end. Fortunately, my teacher and classmates (somehow) found this endearing, and didn’t evict me from class, so I eventually learned how to deal with the anxiety.
I’m a trans girl and I’m romantically and sexually attracted only to girls, and although I also enjoy having a guy ride me, I don’t feel physically attracted to guys, or develop feelings for them. I’m also a ‘slut.’ I’m also polyamorous. I figured that my particular interests might draw a sizable amount of audience questions in the panel I was recently on. Others on the panel were: a gay guy, a cisgirl lesbian, and two pansexual girls. I figured they’d all draw the largest amount of audience questions.
I was mistaken. I got, by far, the most questions, and whom I was interested in romantically and sexually was of little interest to the audience. They were, however, very interested in who is typically interested in me. So, parallel to that premise, here’s an article on who is typically interested in me. But the brief answer would be “girls as well as guys.”
There are more guys who want to spend time with me than vice versa, but historically guys could increase my level of interest by improving my cash flow. I cheerfully worked as an escort for a while. I sold time, and in the event that the person managed to seduce me during that time, we ended up in bed.
Not everyone succeeded, which is pretty amazing since I was even more of a slut when I was escorting. This point wasn’t lost on whoever booked me as an escort. I wasn’t a “sure thing” but clients had just cause to be hopeful. As part of my negotiations, I made it clear that I’m a bottom only, with guys; and I insisted on condom use.
Being a solo escort is hard work. It’s generally illegal so I won’t get into details about the various jurisdictions in which I worked as an escort – I’ll just say it was a very large geographical area. Screening for clients, doing the advertising, doing the admin, all solo – it meant that a lot of non-sexy time was being spent in the hope of some sexy time. It wasn’t worth it. So, I wound down my escorting efforts. By contrast, I liked the potential division-of-labor benefits of working in a brothel — but US brothels were not ready for a trans girl.
Meanwhile, trans girls have for a long time been a well-recognized part of European culture, and the largest brothel in Germany is a multi-story building with one entire floor dedicated to trans girl sex workers. I was also legally permitted to work in Europe, so off I went. I ended up working at two brothels. The first one, the girls and management were unethical on principle, and when I objected, they told me “if you’re honest, you can’t work here” so I quit after being there for only a couple of hours, and before I had made any money.
The second one was a brothel apartment where I rented a room. Management didn’t object to me being honest with my clients. I could run my little business as ethically as I chose. Yay! I hired a pro who was the known go-to ad guy for sex workers in that city. The ad he made for me was good; some sexy pictures of me, and simple wording that made it abundantly clear that I’m a bottom only, plus I insist on condoms. Perfect! Not only would I be having a lot of sex legally in the safety and comfort of my rented apartment, but I’d also be making lots of money. Yay!
I stocked up on supplies, tidied my room, charged my phone and waited eagerly. What type of clients would hire me for sex? I soon found out. The photos for my ads were well-chosen. I was in high demand. My phone lit up often with calls and text messages. My doorbell rang all hours of the day and night. I was, indeed, in high demand… for what I didn’t offer.
Would I be willing to top the guy inquiring? No, sorry, I don’t do that. Good-bye. Next caller…same request. And on and on it went. Almost every guy wanted me to top him. This matched very well what I’d experienced in my escorting days. Guys were super-enthused to be topped by a trans girl. Whether in the US or in Europe, if I’d been willing and able to do that, I’d probably be driving a Rolls-Royce by now. It’s not that my plumbing doesn’t work like that; it still works. It’s just that the idea of topping a guy is a complete turn-off for me, and since being turned on is a prerequisite for my equipment to function, I can’t top guys.
As the hours went by, my delight gave way to dismay. Didn’t they read the ad? It was really simple wording, in big letters. No, the callers admitted. They just saw the pictures, didn’t bother to read, and contacted me instead. Wow.
A few guys were actually interested in topping me, but knowing that reading seems to be a lost art, I thought it prudent to bring up the “have to wear a condom” issue … as my ad specified. No, each guy said, he wasn’t OK with that. Good-bye. And this went on and on.
Even at the end of the second day, I’d had a completely celibate experience, and I had made zero revenue. When my phone battery ran down, I decided not to recharge it. I left the phone off, disconnected the doorbell, and retired. I had prepaid the rent on my apartment so I just lived there, and enjoyed the city as a solo tourist.
Nowadays, back in the US, I dabble on internet social media sites sometimes, and it’s the same thing … most guys interested in me sexually want me to top them, and as to the few who want to top me, most want to do so condomless. There are a few rare exceptions, so I’ve had sex with guys often enough.
But on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean, as for the guys interested in me (and trans girls like me) for the most part (I’d guess, between 95% and 100% of the time) …
- They want to be topped, or
- They want to top me, condomless.
If you ever see me driving a Rolls-Royce, it may well be because I’ve figured out how to accommodate either or both of these categories of prospective clients, and come out of retirement. Don’t get me wrong; I’m still a sex worker — I just currently limit my work to writing articles like this one.